Natalia never planned to emigrate. In Kyiv, she had everything: a stable job, professional fulfilment, the rhythm of a big city and a sense of control over her own life. She was building her career, raising her children and was not looking for a “better life” abroad.
The war changed everything. Together with her two young children, Natalia left Ukraine without a clear plan and without knowing how long she would be away. What was initially meant to be a temporary stay in Germany stretched into years – with language barriers, a new identity and the constant feeling of being a stranger.
Today, Natalia works for a public institution and helps other people navigate documents and a system that once seemed completely incomprehensible to her. She speaks about losing her sense of freedom, discovering a new strength within herself and living without plans that extend further than a few months.
— Natalia, let’s rewind the tape. Who were you in your previous life? Not just according to your degree, but in terms of how you felt.
— I am an economist and finance specialist. I graduated from Kyiv National Economic University and began my career in finance and controlling at a bank. Later, however, I found myself in a completely different field. I moved to a German-Ukrainian company that imported equipment and cutting tools from Europe to Ukraine.
The areas we worked in were woodworking, metalworking and the food industry. My father, by the way, had his own sawmill, so the smell of fresh wood has been an anchor from my childhood.
Metalworking involved everything connected with mechanical engineering, and we also supplied equipment for the food industry. What you see in supermarkets – equipment used in meat-processing plants and meat factories – that was part of our business.
— How did you get into this field?
— Actually, it was quite simple: my sister worked in this business. Since I spoke English fluently, I was invited to help with procurement and establishing contacts with clients.
I worked in the office and was Deputy Director for Commercial Affairs, although in practice I was mainly responsible for imports. I was also responsible for major clients, such as the Silpo and Novus supermarket chains.
I helped build this business from the ground up. For me, it was like my own child.
— What did you love about this work?
— First of all, it gave me a stable income, and secondly, freedom and communication. I really enjoyed travelling to international trade fairs and looking for new suppliers.
I was often abroad. It was interesting to discover the world, meet new people and learn about their cultures. We also regularly took part in trade fairs in Ukraine.
It was an interesting job that allowed me to combine work and family life. When I had my children, I was still able to work and did not have to put my career on hold.
— When did you realise that you had lost control and needed to leave?
— We were in Kyiv and initially had no plans to leave. But imagine this: it is morning, the air-raid siren is sounding, and my younger child is one and a half years old. He grabs a pillow, lies down on the floor and starts crying.
I am the kind of person who is afraid of situations I cannot control. I am afraid of flying and I do not like travelling as a passenger in a car. And then suddenly there is a war. What control do you have then?
I was alone with two small children – the older one was four and the younger one was one and a half. Try gathering two little children and running somewhere during an air raid.
First, we went to relatives in the Cherkasy region and stayed there for a week. Then we went to the Zakarpattia region. Eventually, we left Ukraine and went to Hungary. I thought we would simply wait there for a while. But then air-raid alarms started there too. At the same time, our money was running out: hotels, food – how were we supposed to pay for everything?
— Why did you eventually choose Germany?
— People I knew were surprised that I did not go to Germany, considering that I had worked with Germans. In fact, many people I knew contacted me and offered help.
In Passau, we met some very good people. We moved into an apartment that belonged to the Passau ice hockey club. It was available for six months during the off-season. That suited us because we were planning to return home.
— What happened after those six months? You are still here.
— It is a classic example of the saying that sometimes something good can come out of something bad.
A bus drove into my parked car. It was a new car that I had bought only a few months before the war.
I was out running errands for half a day and did not even notice the damage. Then I saw that the entire side of my car had been damaged and more than that. People advised me to go to the police station. They told me, “You understand that you probably won't find the person responsible.”As I was leaving, a female police officer said to me, “There is a Facebook group. Try posting there. Maybe someone saw something.”
I posted there. After some time, people came forward who had seen a bus hit my car. They had even taken photographs.
Thanks to that, the insurance company reimbursed me €11,000. Because of the insurance process and the repairs, we stayed in Passau. And just when my car had already been at the repair shop for two weeks, Kyiv came under heavy bombardment again.
That was when we realised that we could not return yet, and we began looking for a permanent apartment.
We were waiting for better times. And now it is 2026, and we are still “on our way home.”
— You speak English fluently. Did you try to find similar work here?
— Yes, I did. But this is a small town and there are not many manufacturing companies here.
There was one interesting interview, though. Near Passau, there is a company that builds waste-processing plants all over the world. They were looking for someone with English skills to prepare commercial proposals.
They were interested in me, but then reconsidered and said that they could not offer a part-time position. So they turned me down.
— How did you get your current job at a public institution?
— My Jobcenter advisor suggested that I write a speculative application. After that, I was invited to an interview at the town hall because the city was going to employ me.
I came with a B2 certificate. I had passed the exam well and was already attending a C1 course, which I was paying for myself because this language level is not funded by the government.
I thought: Since I am already here, I will learn the language. I have to find a new job anyway and raise my children.
I remember walking in there: a huge hall, almost like a museum. Four people were sitting opposite me, and there was a separate table for me.
It was the head of the Jobcenter and three representatives of the city's HR department.
We talked, and the next day I received a letter saying that they liked me and were inviting me to a one-week work placement.
After that week, the director offered me the opportunity to choose which department I wanted to work in.
I chose the reception area because I thought the work would be more dynamic there and that I would learn the language faster.
— Are there opportunities for career advancement in this job?
— Of course. It is a public institution, after all. I like the system here: after working for a year, you can develop further and move up step by step.
— Are you the first person people deal with at the Jobcenter?
— Yes. I receive documents, ask about people's backgrounds, hand out forms and register people in the system.
On a day when you are working at registration, you can deal with 40 to 70 people.
I feel useful because I help people and explain everything to them. It is a positive feeling when people are grateful.
But sometimes I go to work in the morning in a bad mood. Because of the language.
German is difficult for me, especially because of the Bavarian dialect. When I make mistakes, I may appear unprofessional in front of German clients, and that really affects my self-confidence.
— Do you consider yourself successful?
— Many Ukrainians consider me successful because I work for a public institution.
I consider myself useful rather than successful. And I am very happy that I have not received government benefits for a year now and that this chapter is closed.
— How has your everyday life changed compared with Kyiv?
— It is impossible to compare. In Kyiv, my children went to a private kindergarten and we had a nanny. I could go swimming or work out before work, and I had a job I loved. We also had someone who helped with the household. She came to our home for a relatively small amount of money, cleaned and ironed. I had time to take care of myself and spend time with my children.
I really miss that here.
Here, you have to do everything yourself. Yourself, yourself, yourself.
Now I have become stronger. I assemble furniture myself, repair things at home and so on.
I am a real “DIY expert” now. I even bought a large toolbox – so large that even my father does not have one like it.
— What do you miss the most?
— I don't feel free. There is no freedom here.
No matter how hard you try, you are still a stranger here. The feeling that you are not really “at home” has been there since the first day.
I miss my family and my friends. Although my friends have also been scattered all over the world – the geography has become so wide that it is almost frightening.
I miss the feeling of home.
During the first six months of the war, I could not look at photographs from home at all – I would immediately start crying.
I look at old photos of our life and think about how well we lived and how little we appreciated it at the time.
It is difficult to start from zero in another place, in another country. And when you did not choose it yourself, when you were forced into it, it is twice as difficult.
I left part of myself in Kyiv. It is my home city, the place where I was born. It is mine.
— What would you like to do if you had more time?
— Sport. I simply do not have enough time for it.
When I was not working yet, I ran five kilometers every day here and felt good. Once I started working, I had no time at all.
And then there is school. My older son attends a German school and, in the afternoons, also attends a Ukrainian school online.
Two schools, two sets of homework, extracurricular activities. The younger one goes to kindergarten and has now also started online German lessons.
But whenever we have the opportunity, we are constantly travelling somewhere.
I always loved travelling, and here it is even more accessible. We spend a lot of time together with the children.
— What are your plans for the future?
— The children also miss home and constantly ask about it. They worry that we left our photo albums at home.
I have a huge question mark in front of me. We do not make any plans further ahead than two months.
We simply live and wait.
We are still in “going home” mode.
— What would you advise women who are thinking about leaving Ukraine but are still hesitating?
— If it is difficult for you to stay in Ukraine, come. I will show you everything, explain everything, help you check accommodation and advise you on the right steps to take to settle in.
Interview and editorial editing:
Slava Onufryk, Ukrainian journalist and volunteer
