“Wherever you go, you take yourself with you”: Lyubov’s story of faith, rock music and life in Germany
She does not complain, she does not blame anyone, but accepts reality as it is. She listens to The Rasmus while painting with watercolours, and she prays when she thinks about the war. Lyubov lost her family home near Kharkiv, but says she has lost nothing as long as she has God. Her story is a paradox: how to combine physically demanding work with painful hands, religious values with the realities of war, and longing for her son with an absolute absence of fear.
— Lyubov, you come across as a very calm person. What gives you strength in this new life?
— My children and my hobbies: I like painting, cooking and listening to music. I mostly love rock music; my favourite bands are The Rasmus and Okean Elzy. In my free time, I also enjoy reading books — historical fiction, fantasy and crime novels without too much violence. I enjoy stories and, while reading, I don't find myself thinking about sad things. When I was working in Ukraine, I also used to read whenever I had free time — I really love books.
— An unexpected choice. And what do you paint while listening to this kind of music?
— I make sketches, for example, of moonlight or waterfalls. I paint with watercolours. My daughter has been painting professionally since she was eight. She gives me all the materials and shares her advice with me — she is my teacher. I have always painted as well. My first profession was painter and plasterer. At the age of 15, I went to a vocational construction school and worked in that profession for five years. Now I turn on some music and paint — I really enjoy it.
— In Ukraine, you were a qualified boiler operator. Now you work in a nursing home. How did you manage this transition?
— I like being useful. Back home, I worked in a printing house for ten years, making bindings for school textbooks, and I enjoyed it.
Later, I found a physically less demanding job with working hours that suited me and worked for another ten years as a gas boiler operator, so I know this field well. My responsibilities included monitoring the equipment: taking meter readings, checking the operation of the gas boilers, maintaining the required pressure, temperature and water levels, and detecting and fixing malfunctions. In Ukraine, we had to take an examination every season because safety was the top priority. It wasn't just about gas or water — the whole system, including pumps and meters, had to be properly maintained and monitored.
I could work in this field here as well, but because of the language barrier and the different systems, it isn't that simple. At the moment, I have to work where I can, because with my problems with my hands — I have rheumatoid arthritis — I cannot be useful everywhere. Otherwise, I would work as a cook in a bakery or restaurant — I love cooking and baking, making borscht and cabbage rolls. But when I am chopping, for example, a salad, I have to stop and lower my hands so that the numbness goes away.
Like everyone else, I learned the language after I arrived. I already knew German at A1 level from school, so it was a little easier for me. I continued studying and took exams here. If I were younger, perhaps I would go into further training, but at this point I can only do work that I am physically capable of doing. The employment agency offered me a job as a cleaner in a nursing home. I accepted and started working there.
— So you are working despite the pain. Is it emotionally difficult to be around old age?
— Yes. Many of the elderly people have dementia. They ask to be taken home and repeatedly ask where they are, what today's date is or what year it is. I had never encountered this before, so it makes me sad that these people have to experience such an old age. I also find the strong smells at work difficult, as they are constantly present.
War is the most difficult subject for every Ukrainian today. Lyubov has a position that may sound controversial to many, but she is unwavering in her faith.
— You said that you look at the war from the perspective of a person of faith. What does that mean in practice?
— As my son said when he was called up to the military recruitment office: if everyone were a believer, the war would end today, at this very moment, everywhere in the world. Because a person of faith does not take up a weapon.
— And what if you need to protect your parents or your child from an enemy? Of course, you can leave the country, as you did, but not everyone can leave their home. Someone has to defend it, don't they?
— Even then, you must not take up a weapon. God always protects. Here is an example: my husband's niece was leaving Mariupol with guns pointed at her, and she prayed throughout the journey. There were Russian soldiers and tanks. It was frightening, but she prayed and managed to get out.
— Your son is now in Ukraine. How is he living under the conditions of war?
— My son always says, “Stay strong, Mum.” He is not afraid of anything and knows that everything is in God's hands. He would even be willing to go to prison for his faith, but he will not take up a weapon. The Bible says that whoever comes with a weapon will perish by the weapon. He is a Baptist, and he is involved in Christian missions — they help people wherever they can and bake bread.
— Let's go back a little. Did you hesitate for a long time before leaving, and how did you settle in here?
— We lived near Kharkiv, in an area where there was shelling every day. In April, we went to relatives in Kamianets-Podilskyi and stayed there for five weeks. We could no longer remain in our village because there was no electricity and the shops had closed. We had international passports, so we considered going to Germany, which was accepting people. We managed to do so through a Protestant Christian church that worked with volunteers in Germany. Basically, we came here to wait things out.
We ended up staying on a small rural property in Wegscheid-Mayerhof. The owner of the house helped us enormously. For the first five months or so, I hardly had to buy anything — he gave us a lot of things. Later, we bought a frying pan, a pot, a blender and everything else ourselves and gradually settled in.
My daughter is now 19 and is already looking for education or training opportunities in Germany. So “waiting things out” has turned into a full life. And by now, there is nowhere for us to return to. In August 2022, our house was destroyed. It had belonged to my grandparents — it was our family home.
— What helps you not to fall into despair after losing your family home?
— Our home is everywhere. It is not good to become too attached to a place. So we don't know where we will be tomorrow. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.
— Lyubov, you say that you are not afraid of anything. How can someone learn that?
— There is no fear inside me because of my faith. I have experienced many times that God helps. Everything is in God's hands. What should I be afraid of? Why should I worry? During all four years in Germany, everything has worked out well for us. There hasn't been a single day when we had nothing to eat.
— What do you dream about today?
— That's a difficult question. Perhaps the only goal of a person of faith is heaven. It is a big mistake when people say, “This is God's punishment.” It is not punishment; it may be a test. Because when everything is wonderful, a person becomes complacent.
For example, if you miss the bus, you shouldn't say that it is a punishment or that you were unlucky. It simply happened. Go for a little walk, breathe some fresh air and don't rush anywhere. You simply have to look at things differently.
Interview and editorial editing:
Slava Onufryk, Ukrainian journalist and volunteer
